I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
