After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
