i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
