Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
