And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
