his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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