you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
