Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
