it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
