her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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