We won't sleep together?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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