Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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