My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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