Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
