That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
