so explain again why im purple
no
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
