Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize