I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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