fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
