She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
