his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
