she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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