i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize