Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
