You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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