vagina is talking i cant
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
