girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
