I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
