He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
