I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
