Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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