she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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