Someone shit on the floor
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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