I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
