yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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