Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
