i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
