O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish my penis had a tongue
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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