she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
