I'm so fucking centered right now
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize