last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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