You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
