haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
