Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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