You really coming over, don't trick.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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