Someone shit on the floor
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
barbara walters just said penis...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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