so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
