Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
