Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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