We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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