She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
