the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
