dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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