Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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