I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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