Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
