Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
