Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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