I accidentally burped into my bong.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
