Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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