my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
