ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
