How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
